I’d Piss There
On the way back from a day-trip to Montauk yesterday, four of us piled in my friend’s sweet family vehicle borrowed from her parents (1999 Chevy Tahoe), as you can imagine—or maybe not—many restroom stops were needed. So many, in fact, that we fell into the habit of pointing out clean-looking gas stations even when we didn’t have to go. “Yeah, I’d piss there.” Or often, recalling from previous Montauk trips, “Yeah, I’ve pissed there, it’s nice.” Or once, “That’s the one where I waited forever because a girl was in there giving her boyfriend a blowjob.”
If it hadn’t been done already (in the form of NYrestroom.com, and probably others), I’d use our collective wisdom and some of my spare mental energy to create a comprehensive guide to the best places to number one or number two along Montauk Highway through the Hamptons, as well as in Montauk itself, and then of course throughout many neighborhoods in Manhattan and Brooklyn. I’d call it “I’d Piss There (Beta)”, open it up to user submissions, tag every entry on a user-created Google map. But alas, I don’t think we could compete or ever scrape together enough ambition to follow through, so I’ll probably just add this to the wasted ideas swirling around in my ever-addled mind. If anybody is ever looking for a lazy but creative ideas lady, please, give me a call.
